Sad day indeed

It is a sad day indeed when a governor has to apologize for telling the truth.

Governor Bentley of Alabama was not my candidate.  He wasn’t the guy I supported(as a matter of fact, I didn’t really support any of the candidates, which is why I didn’t vote).  But I find it a sad reflection of the times we live in that he had to come out and apologize for making a comment that is 100% correct.

I don’t believe in being exclusionary.  Anybody who knows me knows that.  But what he said wasn’t being exclusionary.  I was just stating a fact.  Those who have accepted JESUS as their savior are brothers and sisters in CHRIST.  Those who haven’t accepted Jesus are not part of that brotherhood.  There is nothing untrue in what he said, and nothing wrong with what he said.  It’s just like a fraternity on a campus.  Some people have met the criteria to join that brotherhood, and some haven’t.  No one would make such a big deal about this is he were talking to an old group of school friends about the fraternity they joined.

I feel like the guy was basically attacked for stating a fact, and expressing his love for our savior and all the people who feel the same way.

He wasn’t my candidate before, and I’m not sure I will support all of his actions and policies going forward.  But on this, I support him fully.  In this matter, he is my candidate.

The only thing I would have changed is his apology.  He shouldn’t have wasted him time apologizing for telling it how it is.  Hopefully some people will listen to the last part of his statement where he said he wants to be their brother, and take him up on it.

The True Meaning

Hello to anybody who reads this.

I wish everyone a merry, safe, fun, and festive christmas.  I hope that you all recieve wonderful gifts that you love and get to spend great times with your family and friends.

That being said, my biggest hope is that everyone remembers the true meaning of this holiday.  It is the day we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, JESUS CHRIST.  I hope that everyone has a great day being with the best family member and best friend we could ever have.  Remember to spend plenty of time with him today, and remember to thank him for the best gift ever: Our salvation.  Considering that it’s his birthday we’re celebrating, that just makes sense.

I also hope that everyone gave toys, clothing, food, and/or just time to those who are less fortunate than we are.  It is more than just a responsibility for us; it truly is a joy.

Have a great day everyone.  I wish everyone nothing but the best.

God’s message comes in many forms

Something interesting happened while I was out today.  I was on my local college campus, headed to one of the libraries.  As I walking, I saw a two guys with signs standing on a homemade platform talking to a small crowd about GOD.  Actually, talking isn’t the word I would use.  They were screaming and hollering about the wrath of GOD, and how it is better to be GOD-fearing than to spend eternity in Hell.

For the record, I have never liked that style of ministering.  For that matter, I have never liked nor understood the phrase “GOD-fearing”.  Why in the world would you want to fear GOD?  Why would you fear the best possible thing that can come into your life?  Why fear GOD, when you could love him instead?  Some say that the two can go together, but I personally don’t think so.  I don’t see how you fear and love someone or something at the same time.

Anyway, after these two men were done, they had a heated discussion with a few of the people from the crowd.  I decided to walk closer to hear what they were saying.  The two men continued with what they were saying, while other argued with them(either based on their ideas or their delivery).  The conversation got more and more heated, and at one point I thought it might become violent.  At that point, a young man(I found out later that he was 16) stepped in the middle and calmed everyone down.  Everyone ended up going their own seperate ways.

I was amazed by that young man for two reasons:  First, I was surprised that a person that young had the courage to step into a heated discussion between adults that he didn’t know, especially considering the subject matter.  And secondly, I was truly amazed at how this young person was able to calm everyone down so quickly.  I decided this was a person that I wanted to talk to.

I approached the young man, and we talked for a little while.  I found out his age(along with a few other personal facts about him), and I learned that he is a christian.  I asked him what he thought of the demonstration the two men had done, and he told me that he supported it fully.  At that point I decided to share my own beliefs, how I thought those men where sending the wrong message about GOD,  and how I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to fear GOD.  He told me that he personally agreed with my viewpoint, but that he supported what the men were doing.  He told me that while he agreed with me about loving GOD rather than fearing him, some people needed to have the fear put into them before they could reach the point to love GOD.

At that point, I was floored, because I had never thought of it that way.  It seemed like such an obvious thing after he said it, but it just wasn’t something that I had ever noticed before.  God’s message really can come in many forms.

I exchanged numbers with the young man, and I invited him to one of our group meetings.  I hope to learn more from him, and I hope I can help him grow as well.

It seems that most of the time, the only news we hear about our young men and women is bad.  It gives me great hope for the future to know that there are young men out there like this young man to spread the word of GOD as my generation gets older.

Overwhelmed

I feel completely overwhelmed right now.  I have so many things going on that I never seem to have a break anymore.  Between work, friends, community work, and just trying to sleep every once in awhile, I feel like my days are filled with endless tasks.

Then there are my friends.  My oldest friend thinks I’m ignoring her in favor of one of my other friends(which isn’t entirely untrue).  Another one of my friends wants something that I just can’t give her at this point, and it’s starting to cause some friction between us.  Another one of my friends is going through a difficult time in her life right now, and I really haven’t been there for her.  I haven’t visited, and I barely even have enough time to call these days.  And there is an issue between me and another friend because of someone he has a crush on.  I truly love my friends, and I could not ask for better people in my life, but I’m just getting worn down.

It’s all just getting to be too much.  I feel like I’m letting everyone down.  I like being that guy that people  depend on, but I just need a break.  I was very sick about two weeks ago(to the point where I didn’t leave the house for almost a week), and the whole time all I could think about was how guilty I felt that I was letting people down.

I wish I could just leave it all for a little while.

Frustrated

Frustrated.

I have become extremely frustrated over the past few days.  I find myself replaying events from the past in my head.  I find myself allowing myself to daydream more and more.  I find myself thinking more and more about things that used to be, things that haven’t happen, and things that never will.  I’ve even found myself getting distracted by something that happens in a movie or on television, which is something that has never happen to me.

Hopefully I can get over this feeling in the near future.  For now, I’m going back to bed.

“The Song”

Tonight, I danced with a friend of mine.

This is a little out of the ordinary in general, as I have never been a dancer.  In fact, I really don’t like to dance and I’m not good at it.

What made it completely out of the ordinary was the song we danced to.  It is a song I know well.  It is a song that I have been fixated on over the years.  It is a song that I never planned on dancing to again, and one that I tried to avoid hearing.  It was the song that me and my “wife” shared.

It was the first time in a long time that I didn’t become instantly miserable when I heard that song.

Carry your Candle

As Christians, we are given many wonderful gifts.  We are given the gift of Salvation.  We are given the gift of the holy spirit to guide us.  And we are given the gift of unconditional love from the one who will never leave us and never abandon us.

But with these wonderful gifts comes responsibility.

James tells us that “faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead”.  That doesn’t mean that action/works can earn us salvation.  They can’t, because we all fall short of the glory of THE LORD.  What it does mean is that any true faith will be accompanied by action.  It is impossible to seperate a real, undying faith in THE LORD from good works.  Good works are the response of a heart that loves GOD and has faith.

As christians, most of us tend to do great with the faith part.  We attend church and pray because of our faith.  We wholeheartedly and sincerily believe in our Father GOD, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the holy spirit.

Many of us, however, are lacking in the works department.  While the simple act of praying for someone is in itself a good work, there is just so much more that we can and should do.  Mission Trips are a big one of these things, and I am happy to see so many Christians go on these trips or have a desire to.  But there are also many things we can right here at home to shine the light that GOD has given us.

Go out and minister on a street corner or in a park(some people will think you are crazy, but who cares?); volunteer at a soup kitchen or old folks home; help build a home with habitat for humanity or another organization; take a meal to the homeless in your area or a poor neighbor; take a minute and listen to the lonely older person in your neighborhood(that conversation will likely mean the world to them).

Those are just a few of the things we can do in our own neighborhoods to help others.  Be willing to give your time, energy, and/or money to serve others(especially the poor).  Remember that Jesus said “Whatver you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me”.

Women should come with an instruction manual

There are currently three important women in my life, and I’m not sure what to do about my current situation. To start off, let me give a little background info. I am currently single(and actually enjoying it). I am 26 and I am a dedicated Christian, and am really enjoying the time I’ve had with God. That being said, these three women have been on my mind a lot as of late.

Let’s start off with the first one. We will call her “Arlene”. Arlene has been my best friend for as long as I can remember. She’s the robin to my batman. We grew up together, and have practically experienced everything together. She was my first love, she was the first person I ever had sex with(before I dedicated my life to God), and she has been always been there. Five days ago, she told me that she wasn’t sure, but thought that she might be interested in me again. She then disappeared, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since(Arlene has a tendency of disappearing).

Next, there is “Glenda”. Glenda has been one of my best friends since high school. A few years ago, we started dating and she has been the girl I’ve been involved with since that time. Our relationship was marked by some very good times, but even more mistakes of the flesh. Recently, she told me that she liked another guy and didn’t love me anymore. A week later, she told me that she thought she made a mistake about not loving me anymore. And five days ago, she asked me to promise her that I wouldn’t fall in love with the third girl I’ll talk about. I don’t think she has any clue what she really wants.

And then there is “Samantha”. She is a girl who used to date a friend of mine. From the day we met, we had an instant connection, and we have become really close. She is the one person I make sure to talk to or see everyday. She told me a while ago that she wanted more than friendship with me. That being said, she realized that things weren’t resolved with Glenda, and said that she would wait until things were resolved one way or the other.

I have a desire to get married at some point and raise a family. I’m honestly not sure which one of these women would be best for me. They all have good points and bad points.

Arlene- As I said earlier, she is oldest friend. Our history is one of the big selling points for a relationship with her. She has always been there. When my Grandfather died, she was there. When my “wife” died(a different subject for a different post), she was there. I was molested as a child, and unfortunately, she was right there with me. Our lives and experiences have been so intertwined and connected. Arlene is the person who knows me best in the world, and she understands me in ways that I doubt anyone else ever will. She also has found GOD, so that wouldn’t be an obstacle anymore. She is smart, independent, and adventurous.

That being said, there are certainly some reasons why it wouldn’t work. While I like the fact that she is independent, I think she may be too independent. I can’t honestly see her being happy settling down in family life. I think she would get restless very quickly….She also happens to be undependable to some extent. While I have no doubt that she will always be there for me, I don’t think I can depend on her to be there right when I need her. She has a tendency of disappearing when things become unpleasant, and that just isn’t something you can do in a relationship……She cheated on me when we dated earlier in life, and I have always promised myself that I would never take back a cheater…..I also don’t currently have romantic feelings for her, although there is a spark between us that will probably always be there.

Glenda- First, the good points. She is funny, romantic, dorky(which I like), and a woman who really wants to grow deeper and deeper in love with God. She is caring and thoughtful. Our world views are very similar, which is important to me. She would be an amazing mother, which is also very important to me. She wants a big family and so do I…..I am literally captivated by her. I can listen to her mumble about the most boring things, and I’m still interested. She once told me that even in a crowded room, I make her feel like she is the only one there. And I guess the reason I can do that is because she might as well be the only person in the room as far as I’m concerned. Just about everyone else becomes background noise when I’m with her…..There also happens to be this intense attraction between us(at least there was. I haven’t actually been face to face with her in a little while). I’m not saying you should base a relationship or marriage on attraction. You shouldn’t. But I do believe that is an important thing, and we have that. It’s been so strong in the past that it felt magnetic……She has been an inspiration in my spiritual life. While she hasn’t always made the best decisions(I haven’t either), she has made a huge difference in growth with GOD. For that I could never thank her enough. And she is the person who first let me hear the song that became the title of this blog.

And of course, there is the bad. I don’t if anyone who reads this has every watched the Gilmore Girls, but I’m going to use that show to illustrate a point. At the end of season 4, Rory(one of the two main characters) had one of her ex’s(Jess) ask her to go away with him. She said no, and the next day, she explained to her best friend why she said no. I don’t think this is the exact quote, but I’ll get as close as possible.

Rory: “He’s so unreliable. By the time I packed my bags and got outside, he might have changed his mind and drove away”.

That is how I have always felt with her. Throughout our relationship, she always found other people to fall for, even if only for a short time. Even if it wasn’t another person, she would find some reason why it wouldn’t work. When I was with her, I always felt like she was waiting for something else, and she was just with me because I was there and because I showed interest. I never really felt like I was what she wanted. I could very easily see a scenerio where we get back together; I pray about it and decide I want to marry her; I ask her parents for permission to marry her; I buy a ring; and then right before I ask, she tells me she wants to see someone else. Or worse yet, she says yes and then right before our wedding she decides she wants someone else……..She is also very needy. I am an independent guy, and I need my space sometimes. I’m not really sure how that would work out.

Samantha- Again, the good things. First of all, Sam would make an amazing spiritual partner. I could easily see her out on a street corner with me ministering to others. She has already become involved in some of the things I’ve been doing, and has been a huge comfort and support system…..Sam is also extremely attractive. Don’t get me wrong, I find both Glenda and Arlene attractive. But I’ve never felt that either of them were “out of my league”(I hate that phrase) when it comes to looks. Sam on the other hand….. It feels so natural to be around her. We have so much fun together. Everything just seems easy and normal with her. Even praying with her comes just easy and natural(which is something I generally don’t do one on one with women)…..Sam is willing to wait for me. She wants me. While Glenda can’t ever figure out what she wants, I’m what Sam wants. That is amazing to me. It’s nice to know that someone is there for me and only me…..Sam is also able to hold my attention without doing much. While it isn’t at the level of Glenda, she certainly has the ability to keep me interested no matter what she is doing.

And then there are a few bad things. I’m a guy who believes in being friends with his ex’s, and Sam would have a problem with that. I don’t think she would be okay with me being close to Glenda or Arlene if we were dating, and those friendships aren’t something I’m willing to compromise. I’m also not sure she shares my views when it comes to raising a family. I want my wife to stay at home with our children once they are born. I’m not saying that has to be forever, but at least until the kids are in school. I don’t think Sam would go for that, and that is a huge problem for me. Also, while I could see myself with Sam in the future, I don’t currently have romantic feelings for her.

So that is where I am. I am currently confused about these women and what role they will play in my life in the future. I’m also confused as to why I’m even thinking about this in the first place right now. As I said earlier, I’m very happy being single. I like the way my life is right now, and I like the time I’m getting to spend with God. I like the fact that I don’t have to explain anything to anyone. And yet this topic keeps going through my head. Why? Is God trying to tell me something?

I guess I”ll just have to be patient. God answers all questions with time.